Memory fades… soul remembers

Today I am posting one of my earliest and my first real attempt at trying to give words to my emotions..

I think I was always slightly at awe of people who could write..  my respect was almost unconditional for them. Though, through out school I was above average at my language classes and had also made a few feeble attempts to make my pen speak.. it was without any satisfactory outcome. Only much later-..  must have been 20 or 21-  when I left home for higher studies; that I think I really found, the calm in me to listen to what my heart had to say and then let it flow out..

Following are the lines written many spring ago.. nostalgia and a homesick heart giving words a chance~



Drenched earth greets my sole, wet grass tickles my feet...

Moist breeze gently brush across my cheek

and a wet fragrance tease my sleepy senses

Scattered leaves, broken branches .. fallen trees all around

-basking in the dappled sunlight.. spoils of last night's storm.

O’ what a celebration it was… the primal dance of nature!

Lighting strikes across the sky; to reveal trees swaying with the raving wind-

shadows dancing to the beat of a distant drum..

Nature have woken up from her winter hiatus;

Playing out her age old ritual of resurrection!

A mad spell of wind, rain and storm...

and a lull..

next morning I wake up to see-

Scattered leaves, broken branches and fallen trees all around;

basking in the dappled sunlight; spoils of last night's storm.

O’ what a celebration it was- The primal dance of nature!

As my soul bathe in the promise of spring:

I see, the dry lazy winter quietly slip away…

-Ah’ the spring morning of my childhood dreams

Spring of my growing up fancy

Spring, they tell me- still comes

how I long for it...

little things..

my personal mantra ~

"If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way" 

With each passing day I am more and more convinced that it is the little things.. small moments,  that makes life Big! As Pooh says - "'Sometimes' the smallest things take up the most space in your heart" And my heart ..Oh 'my heart' is but a mosaic.. a melange of a million tiny little things!

here is a  glimpse into one of my few little things .. home #festival #celebration #together :)

Scar

“I always hated when my scars started to fade, because as long as I could still see them, I knew why I was hurting ~Jodi Picoult

 In certain ways this is true for me too.  One of my friend calls me 'Calamity Jane'.  I think I attract accidents and incidents alike, like moth to a flame.  Therefore it is obvious, that I do have my ample share of scars. But 'my scars' are dear to me.  I never felt the need to make them disappear. And honestly, I do not want my scars to disappear! Because I believe 'my scars' are not just my physical identity but are also an integral part of my mental make up. 

As a teenager I was occasionally prone to acnes. Even back then I never was obsessed with the 'sole idea of getting rid of them' and have a flawless skin!! Not that I have particular liking for them but beyond a point, they didn't matter to me and till date I can't fathom the need or desire for flawless appearance...

Every mark of cut and surgery and burn on my body, reminds me every moment, that I have lived and walked through those days.. to be where I am today.  There are also those scars- not visible to eyes.  The 'mental ones ' which scars your heart n soul ..which either breaks some or makes some. I treasure those too. And most of the time they have made me..  may be because I have nerve allowed them to be a chasms  in my life but have always tried to use them as stepping stones.  A stepping stone to know myself and those around me.

Actually, time doesn't heal anything .. scars fade but  wounds don't. To protect our sanity and balance,  with time the body and  mind covers it with gentle layers of tissue and acceptance.
 I think we all need 'our scars' to make us the 'individuals' that we are…

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~ Rumi


~12thJune 2012

How extraordinarily ordinary it is all...

Musing...

perhaps an ordinary journey, by a very ordinary person.. in a very, very ordinary and mundane scenario of today's existence. Or perhaps not. Whatever way it is, one thing is sure..  that even my over-active imagination couldn't have perceived- is the road that I would travel...

5 years ago if I would have imagined myself now.. I definitely would not have seen myself as the same person that I m today... changed for sure.
But what changed? - It was in this milieu of faces, egos and attitude that I slowly found someone.. found myself. I discovered what drove me.  I  found what repels me. I learn to read people around me and not just their faces.  I realised how devastating egos can be.. How delicate relationships can be, how words can break and how just a simple honest explanation can heal! Lost my prejudices, saw my  weakness  and I met my strength. Learnt to appreciate intentions and not always judge by actions...and yes, realised that there usually is always more to the story!

Most importantly trying to accept that there usually isn't a 'one fine day- when it will all makes sense', for there will always be something that won't!!!  So guess, .. just learn to do the jig in all the senseless dramas and laugh while we can ..

Yes 'I am'.. 'we are'  because of the road that we have walked and walk we have too.. so why not make the journey our destination-

As one 'Unknown' said~  'The journey in between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place'.
 Bring on the music..  I will play life:)



~19th March 2013

Why..

Perhaps because..

from the moment we gain consciousness to the moment we bid adieu to this consciousness; as we know it... it has  been but a search to know; to know who we are and why we are…

If I have to write why I am starting this blog, honestly I won't have a clear answer. I do have some idea, about what I want to share here with you all. Simply putting- this blog is but a continuation of that journey of 'finding Me'. The- here and there; this and that; people and places; my likes and dislikes, my sometime senseless musing and all that would go on to describe the individual that I am...

We are born with empty existence & embossed sub- conscious- We grow… and gradually at every touch- mental, physical & emotional, our world forms.

There wasn’t a world before .. family, friends & peers.. all who came & touched my life.

And there won't be any .. once all who of you who have known and loved me are gone and forgotten!

So before life as I know it is gone and forgotten .. an attempt on my part to hold onto all that I find inspiring; and share those little things and moments that brings a smile to my face..

 for didn't someone say - Happiness is only real when shared'